Laughing gas

I just got back from my second dentist appointment, to finish the last of the fillings. Let me just say right now that I truly wish they put me on laughing gas from the moment I enter that building and only take off the gas when I step out. Not necessarily just because of the procedures they do, but because of the stupid, stupid things my dentist says. When I'm on laughing gas, I don't want to punch her as much. I mean, I do, but I at least think it's amusing. Today she was getting a good chuckle out of the fact that the federal government is trying to get rid of the Arizona immigration law but we are also making mortgage brokers get fingerprinted. She then began talking about how terrorists are coming into the US from the southern border because they can pass off as Mexican. In her words: "They can't come in from Canada anymore, because, well, they don't look like Canadians." I wish I was making this up, but I'm not. Then she said that Connecticut or another eastern state has the same laws already in place and no one's making a big deal of that... then she said, "But I mean, they probably don't have to enforce it like they do in Arizona... because like, they're not going to try to get rid of Canadians coming over the border into Connecticut." Who gives these people medical licenses?

But truly, laughing gas is the greatest. I kind of wish I could get my hands on some to use recreationally. While on laughing gas for like, 25-30 minutes straight today, I decided that laughing gas would be my drug of choice. Some people choose weed, some people choose coke, I choose laughing gas. While the dentist was busy annihilating my teeth, I decided that laughing gas gets me to the point where I feel like I'm drunk. But a good drunk. The kind of drunk where you go to the bathroom and all of a sudden you're like, "Holy crap. I'm drunk!" and it just comes on really quickly and in full force. Like... you're pretty drunk but not to the point of being miserable and/or sick. When I close my eyes when I'm on laughing gas, I feel the feeling like when I'm drunk and I finally get to go to bed and I just lay in my bed and think how happy I am to be laying down and not in heels and a dress anymore. THAT kind of drunk.

Well, I suppose that ends my ode to laughing gas.

The poor hygenist from last time was assigned to me again today. She was like, "Are you going to want laughing gas?" And then she realized who I was and said, "Oh yeah. You'll want laughing gas." Hahaha. Oops. Apparently I was memorable last time. What was it, I wonder? The tears? The bitchiness that came out after I had been waiting 50 minutes to get a damn filling? Who knows. Either way, I'm excited that they're so willing to give me laughing gas.

I sound super creepy, I realize, but I have been through more than one traumatizing dentist experience in these past couple of weeks. Let me have my laughing gas, at least.