Boo ex-boyfriends. Boo being hungover.

Well, I had quite the interesting night last night, to put it mildly.

It was Tyler's birthday celebration night, and I was really excited about the prospect of getting to really go out for the first time in a long, long time (thanks, CPA exam). We were all told to wear plaid... I mean, seriously, every sign pointed to the fact that this was going to be an awesome night. We went to Shelley's to pregame before heading to Lucky's. I may or may not have had three drinks before I left... two of those were Sparx. Like, as in, 8% alcohol. The other drink included a shot of cinnamon schnapps (101 proof). So... clearly ridiculous. We get to Lucky's, and I'm just having a blast. Almost everyone in Westerville was there, and we were just goofing around, having a good time. I saw a guy from my program there, as well as two people I interned with. And I just kept drinking. Before I knew it, I was basically hammered. Not my finest moment. So then, because my life is awesome, Mike Phillips shows up. Now, I realize that we broke up 6 years ago. Yes. It is pathetic that I still am bothered my this situation. But... I really never got closure. Like, when we broke up, it was a completely amicable break-up. He gave me some bullshit line about how he wanted us to still be friends, and I completely bought it. Within two days of breaking up, he was ignoring me. That's not really what bothers me still, though. I've had worse break ups. No, what really still bothers me is the fact that I never got to give him hell for what he did to me. Long story short, if you don't know already: I found out a couple of months after we broke up that he only dated me to see if I would have sex with him. Needless to say, I did not, so he got sick of me and wanted to break up with me. It's not like I shouldn't have seen it coming. We weren't anything alike, and I was really just attracted to the idea of him. I've always had a thing for intellectual guys. And he was just kind of a shitty boyfriend. One day he said, "I smoke weed and drink. I hope that's okay with you." Um, no, that was not okay with me, but thanks for caring. I told him it wasn't okay, and he said, "Well, that sucks. I'm still going to do it." Okay, super. Thanks.

Anyway, so the bar. I see him walk in, and immediately basically lose it. I was just ANGRY. I'm still so furious that he just got away with USING me like that. No one has ever made me feel as cheap as he did. I consider myself a very intelligent, independent, strong, classy woman and to have someone get away with using me is just... reprehensible and I have never forgiven myself. I literally have not been able to get past that for six years.

So of course, since I'm drunk, I'm not thinking clearly. I was just... embarrassing. He was talking to Merrie, and I kept finding excuses to go up to Merrie and tell her something, just so I could ignore the shit out of him. OK... clearly that just made me look pathetic. But at the time, I didn't realize it. In retrospect, I'm SO ANGRY at myself for doing that. So so so angry. Anyway, my friends were being wonderful and were saying things to make me feel better. I was just still really angry/upset. Finally we left and I'm pretty sure I cried while walking to Five Guys haha. Yikes. Anger was just spilling out of me. If I had been a little less drunk, I honestly should have just given him a piece of my mind at the bar and I know that I would have felt so much better and I could let this whole thing go. But false. I made a fool of myself instead. Awesome. I'm also worried because there are many parts to the night that I do NOT remember, so who knows what other embarrassing things I did/said.

Side note: Bobby Opalenik was there, too, so... two ex boyfriends in one bar! Keep in mind I only have three real ex boyfriends. So that was thrilling. I hope you can note my dripping sarcasm. But seriously, Bobby and I are completely cool now and I adore him. He's a great guy. It was just kind of bizarre that there were two ex's there.

I mean, I really did have a great time last night, despite that small road bump. It was great to see all of my friends out, and I loved it. I did NOT love the hangover that lasted until about 4:30 this afternoon, but you know. You win some, you lose some. And I know that my life is going exactly the way I want it to be going, and when I compare my life to where he is in his life, I should just be happy for myself. And not even care. It's just very, very difficult to let go of the feeling that I get when I think about him. Rage doesn't even begin to describe it.

But I know that I have the greatest boyfriend in the world who has been by my side for 5+ years and I am in such a better place than I was when I was dating Mike. I seriously love my life, despite how he made me feel. Donny has had to deal with a lot of the aftermath of Mike, and I can't begin to thank him for that. Donny is the man I want to marry, and I know our life together will be wonderful. I am so grateful to be with him. I owe it to him to just... get over this but it's a struggle. One day. One day. I'm mad at Mike for doing this to me and for using me, but I'm just as mad at myself for being such a stupid girl that trusted someone so easily and without caution.

I would now like to quote the Pussycat Dolls, the group that always knows how I'm feeling (ha).
Nobody gonna love me better
I'ma stick with you forever.
Nobody gonna take me higher
I'ma gonna stick with you
You know how to appreciate me
I'ma stick with you my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way
I'ma stick with you

Haha. Ohhh the Pussycat Dolls.

Sooo in other news, because of my epic hangover, I am staying in on a Saturday night and doing work. It's 11 PM and i still have about 2 hours ahead of me. Hooraaaaay!