Well. It's been awhile! I just got back from my first day of big-girl work, so I thought this would be an appropriate time to update.
First things first: I passed all sections of my CPA exam. There's really nothing else to say about this except that the day I found out I passed the last one was probably one of the top 5 happiest days of my life. Also, I cannot WAIT for my CPA bonus. Holy crap. It will be awesome.
Donny and I have moved in together and it's wonderful!! Nothing TOO horrible yet... just minor spats here and there :) It's difficult to be around ANYONE 24/7, let alone someone of the opposite sex... yikes. But we're making it work and it's been awesome so far!
Onto my job.
We had to show up at the Columbus office this morning at 9 AM. Of course I'm an idiot and forgot we had to wear pantyhose if we want to wear skirts. Because clearly it's still 1950. I had already decided what I was wearing and I did NOT want to deal with picking out a new outfit (because that would add at least another 10 minutes onto my getting ready time), so I decided to go to Walmart to purchase some pantyhose. I then had to put on my pantyhose IN the Walmart parking lot, because duh, I had to be wearing them when I walked in. I wasn't going to get to the office and be like, "Hi. Can you show me the bathroom so I can put on my pantyhose? Thanks." So yeah, my professional career got off to a wonderfully sophisticated start.
I got to the office right on time. It's nice, because I know two of the guys starting with me. One was in the MAcc program with me and the other guy interned with me in 2008, so it was nice to see him again, too. We basically just spent the morning hearing about random stuff and taking a tour of the office, etc. We had a conference call with the woman in charge of our schedules. We also got our schedules from now until the first week in February. Let me just have a chat about my schedule.
So it's pretty much expected that you'll work at least one busy season as an auditor. Generally this means January-March, since most clients have a December 31 year end. However, the Columbus office has all these random year end clients, so our busy seasons are all over the place. SOMEHOW I got scheduled two busy seasons back-to-back, which will be just... amazing (note the sarcasm). I'm the only new hire assigned to the first of my two clients, and they need me during the week that all the other new hires are having another week of training. Somehow this means that I'll be attending training in Dallas with other random Texans. Like... what? How on earth did you pick Dallas, Texas as my training spot?! Bizarre. So yeah, that will be interesting. I've also been assigned a couple of inventories already. This basically means I'll be going BY MYSELF to random warehouses and acting like I know what I'm talking about... and I'll be counting stuff. Lots of stuff. As in... just... opening boxes and counting. And if a box is wrong (aka it says there's 25 shirts and there's only 24), then I'll have to choose another FIVE boxes to count. Oh, did I mention these are done on the weekend? YAY MY LIFE!
What this means for me is that I will be MIA from around the time of my birthday (ugh) through at least Valentine's Day. I was told I would probably be expected to work the weekend of Megan and Jake's wedding, but have no fear, I put a stop to that. And I don't really think they can force me to take a vacation day on a SATURDAY, so that's good. I just have to clear it with my engagement team, but I'm sure it'll be okay. Thank goodness. I'm going to need to DRINK that weekend for sure.
This means that the entire holiday season for me will be slightly less than holiday-like. I'll be working at least 50-55 hours a week. In January, they've got me scheduled for 55 hours a week for 3 weeks. You know when you already know 3 months in advance that you'll be working 15 hours of overtime a week it's going to be a FUN job.
Sigh. I'm trying not to stress about this. I just REALLY love the holidays and now I'm not even going to get to enjoy them. Aside from the inventories I already know about, I'm 'on-call' 12/17 to 1/7 (on the weekends) to run to whatever inventory needs done. It's not just me, it's all 8 of the people I'm starting with, but still. Like... this means I could be called New Year's Eve to go do an inventory. And that's actually VERY likely, because tons of companies take inventory on December 31 or January 1. I'll also not be allowed to take off any days the week of Thanksgiving (except the day of, obviously), because my first client's busy season kind of peaks that week.
So goodbye to my birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years Eve and Day, and Valentine's Day. I'll hopefully see you next year.
Anyway. As I said, I'm trying not to stress but it's not working very well.
Perks of my job? Many. Great benefits, a pretty good 401(k) plan, awesome people (seriously, they're all so fun and friendly), lots of office activities (happy hours, sports leagues, community service), a pretty decent salary, aaaaaaaaand my CPA bonus. As soon as I submit my paperwork showing that I passed the tests, I will get a pretty freaking awesome bonus. Yayayayay I CANNOT wait!!!
So in summary, I'm going to despise the hours I'll be working, but I'll be working with really great people, so hopefully it'll go by quickly. Apparently I lucked out and got on an AWESOME team for my first big client so thank goodness for that.
I'm off to Cleveland tonight for two days of orientation (getting our laptops, explaining benefits, etc), and then back here for the weekend, then to Cincinnati for a week of audit training, and then onto my first job! Eeek!
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Friends
Today was great :) I was able to spend time with Kiley this afternoon, just sitting and talking which is pretty much all we do when we're together haha. Although this afternoon we mixed it up a bit and went DRIVING while talking. I just drove us in circles though haha meh. Anyway, I just am obsessed with the fact that we're able to not see each other for months at a time and then just pick up like we were still at Miami and saw each other for hours every day. Love. love. love. it. Plus there was the bonus of having Jamie call WHILE I was with Kiley so we got to all be on speakerphone together... sigh. So wonderful. Those girls just make my life.
Then I went to Chipotle and to see Charlie St. Cloud with Megan, Katie, and Shelley tonight! (PS Charlie St. Cloud is dumb. Don't see it. And this is coming from a girl who likes pretty much every movie she sees.) It's just so nice to be able to go out with the girls and just chat about all sorts of different life topics :) It probably makes me happier than it should haha. Like, I just really really love girl talk. And I feel like we're growing up now, so we have more grown-up discussions and it's so nice to have people to grow up with, if that makes any sense. We're going through the same things so it's nice to have people to relate to.
Then after I got home, Shelley and Katie were still hanging out and I realized I shouldn't be lame even though I have to get up for work in like less than 7 hours haha. Oh well. So I went back out to meet up with them at Johnny Rockets and we just stayed and chatted for a couple of hours. It's just nice to be able to talk about your feelings with people, as mundane as that sounds. But think about it - do you really have people that LISTEN to you on a day to day basis? Who are REALLY interested in what you're doing or saying? If so, I think you're lucky because I think that we've all become so self-absorbed that we don't pay attention to other people as much as we should. So when I get to have moments where people DO listen to me, and not just my stupid stories about my day-to-day events, but my actual feelings, it gives me hope for the world haha. And it makes me feel loved. It's just little moments like these that get me through :) It was nice to be able to open up to Shelley and Katie in a more intimate discussion (as opposed to a large group setting) and to actually talk about our feelings and our fears and what we're going through in life. It's just so refreshing to be able to get stuff off your chest like that, and I think girls nights are an absolute must. But small girls nights... not like 15 girl girls nights haha. 15 girls is like... go out to the club girls night. Which is ALSO enjoyable, but I'm getting completely off topic. My point is that I think everyone should get together with 1-3 girlfriends every once in awhile and just spill your guts. It's pretty therapeutic.
I still wish I had like ONE girlfriend that was my BEST friend and I was her BEST friend, though, you know? I've always wanted that. Like, just one person who ALWAYS had your back and who didn't have any other best friends, if that makes sense haha. I realize that sounds selfish lol but... it's true! I've just never had that. Obviously I have several wonderful awesome girlfriends, but I haven't ever had one that was just MY best friend. That might sound petty, but growing up it's what I always wanted. A girlfriend with whom you didn't have to discuss what you were doing that night, because it was clear that the two of you would be hanging out... a girlfriend who you could just always count on for everything. And a girlfriend who didn't have a bunch of other best friends. But I guess as much as it might make you want to puke, Donny's kind of become that person for me, which I guess is okay too :) He just came a little later on in life. And I, of course, still have my friends, and hopefully always will!
Okay I really do need to get to bed, yikes. But in summary: today was full of girlfriends and I loved it :)
Then I went to Chipotle and to see Charlie St. Cloud with Megan, Katie, and Shelley tonight! (PS Charlie St. Cloud is dumb. Don't see it. And this is coming from a girl who likes pretty much every movie she sees.) It's just so nice to be able to go out with the girls and just chat about all sorts of different life topics :) It probably makes me happier than it should haha. Like, I just really really love girl talk. And I feel like we're growing up now, so we have more grown-up discussions and it's so nice to have people to grow up with, if that makes any sense. We're going through the same things so it's nice to have people to relate to.
Then after I got home, Shelley and Katie were still hanging out and I realized I shouldn't be lame even though I have to get up for work in like less than 7 hours haha. Oh well. So I went back out to meet up with them at Johnny Rockets and we just stayed and chatted for a couple of hours. It's just nice to be able to talk about your feelings with people, as mundane as that sounds. But think about it - do you really have people that LISTEN to you on a day to day basis? Who are REALLY interested in what you're doing or saying? If so, I think you're lucky because I think that we've all become so self-absorbed that we don't pay attention to other people as much as we should. So when I get to have moments where people DO listen to me, and not just my stupid stories about my day-to-day events, but my actual feelings, it gives me hope for the world haha. And it makes me feel loved. It's just little moments like these that get me through :) It was nice to be able to open up to Shelley and Katie in a more intimate discussion (as opposed to a large group setting) and to actually talk about our feelings and our fears and what we're going through in life. It's just so refreshing to be able to get stuff off your chest like that, and I think girls nights are an absolute must. But small girls nights... not like 15 girl girls nights haha. 15 girls is like... go out to the club girls night. Which is ALSO enjoyable, but I'm getting completely off topic. My point is that I think everyone should get together with 1-3 girlfriends every once in awhile and just spill your guts. It's pretty therapeutic.
I still wish I had like ONE girlfriend that was my BEST friend and I was her BEST friend, though, you know? I've always wanted that. Like, just one person who ALWAYS had your back and who didn't have any other best friends, if that makes sense haha. I realize that sounds selfish lol but... it's true! I've just never had that. Obviously I have several wonderful awesome girlfriends, but I haven't ever had one that was just MY best friend. That might sound petty, but growing up it's what I always wanted. A girlfriend with whom you didn't have to discuss what you were doing that night, because it was clear that the two of you would be hanging out... a girlfriend who you could just always count on for everything. And a girlfriend who didn't have a bunch of other best friends. But I guess as much as it might make you want to puke, Donny's kind of become that person for me, which I guess is okay too :) He just came a little later on in life. And I, of course, still have my friends, and hopefully always will!
Okay I really do need to get to bed, yikes. But in summary: today was full of girlfriends and I loved it :)
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Blah
Fingers crossed that after Friday, I will have NO MORE UPDATES about the stupid CPA exam... meaning hopefully I pass the section I'm taking on Friday. If I can pass this one, and if I passed the one I took in July, then I'll be FINISHED!
Oh wait, no I won't be, because then I still can't call myself a CPA until I've had 2 years of experience. UGHHHH. It never ends!!
Anyway, studying sucks even more than usual. I've just completely lost any and all energy I once had for studying. And now that Donny's home for GOOD (!!!!), I have even less motivation. Hang out with my boyfriend who I haven't been in the same city with for more than 3 months at a time since 2005... or study? FML.
In other news, I cannot WAIT to be done at the call center, either! It's getting to be that hectic time when kids are about to start leaving for college... and of course people wait until like, the DAY before their student moves to be like 'Hey, I need to order linens... also, I need them here tomorrow at 6 AM because that's when we're leaving." Like... no. Sorry. That can't happen. Today was especially bad. I had a lady cry on the phone within the first 45 minutes of my shift. Seriously. People get REALLY REALLY upset about linens for some reason. Don't they know they can just drive to Bed, Bath, and Beyond??!?! and on top of that lady, I had three sup calls (short for 'supervisor'... ones where they ask for my supervisor because apparently I'm incompetent) and our systems just completely shut down for about an hour. Phew. Like I said, can't wait to be finished!
Donny's back and it's basically the greatest. I haven't actually been able to see him a ton because I've been studying so much, but the few times I've seen him have just been great. However, as we had predicted, we ended up hating each other yesterday. We were completely right!!! We predicted we'd despise each other by August 3 hahah. Meh. We're better now. We just aren't very good at being physically near each other haha. It will work itself out.
Other than that... let's see. Moving's coming up soon, HOORAY! Donny and I have been discussing cable/internet packages, etc, and figuring out utilities. I forgot that we're moving into a place thats exactly twice the square footage of my current apartment, which means twice the gas/electric bills :( Boooo spending money.
Also, August 21 is coming up, which will be a blast! We're getting a cabin in Hocking Hills with some of the Westerville crew to celebrate Donny and Jake's birthdays! Can't waaaaaaittt, it'll be so nice to get together with everyone before we move in!
Other exciting August things:
Kiley's in town (but I can't see her until I'm done studying, boo)
Jamie's ALMOST in town
probably going to see the Titanic exhibit at COSI with the fam!
Wicked with Donny and the fam!!!!!!!
Yayayay Friday at 2pm will be the start of a great month :)
Oh wait, no I won't be, because then I still can't call myself a CPA until I've had 2 years of experience. UGHHHH. It never ends!!
Anyway, studying sucks even more than usual. I've just completely lost any and all energy I once had for studying. And now that Donny's home for GOOD (!!!!), I have even less motivation. Hang out with my boyfriend who I haven't been in the same city with for more than 3 months at a time since 2005... or study? FML.
In other news, I cannot WAIT to be done at the call center, either! It's getting to be that hectic time when kids are about to start leaving for college... and of course people wait until like, the DAY before their student moves to be like 'Hey, I need to order linens... also, I need them here tomorrow at 6 AM because that's when we're leaving." Like... no. Sorry. That can't happen. Today was especially bad. I had a lady cry on the phone within the first 45 minutes of my shift. Seriously. People get REALLY REALLY upset about linens for some reason. Don't they know they can just drive to Bed, Bath, and Beyond??!?! and on top of that lady, I had three sup calls (short for 'supervisor'... ones where they ask for my supervisor because apparently I'm incompetent) and our systems just completely shut down for about an hour. Phew. Like I said, can't wait to be finished!
Donny's back and it's basically the greatest. I haven't actually been able to see him a ton because I've been studying so much, but the few times I've seen him have just been great. However, as we had predicted, we ended up hating each other yesterday. We were completely right!!! We predicted we'd despise each other by August 3 hahah. Meh. We're better now. We just aren't very good at being physically near each other haha. It will work itself out.
Other than that... let's see. Moving's coming up soon, HOORAY! Donny and I have been discussing cable/internet packages, etc, and figuring out utilities. I forgot that we're moving into a place thats exactly twice the square footage of my current apartment, which means twice the gas/electric bills :( Boooo spending money.
Also, August 21 is coming up, which will be a blast! We're getting a cabin in Hocking Hills with some of the Westerville crew to celebrate Donny and Jake's birthdays! Can't waaaaaaittt, it'll be so nice to get together with everyone before we move in!
Other exciting August things:
Kiley's in town (but I can't see her until I'm done studying, boo)
Jamie's ALMOST in town
probably going to see the Titanic exhibit at COSI with the fam!
Wicked with Donny and the fam!!!!!!!
Yayayay Friday at 2pm will be the start of a great month :)
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Laughing gas
I just got back from my second dentist appointment, to finish the last of the fillings. Let me just say right now that I truly wish they put me on laughing gas from the moment I enter that building and only take off the gas when I step out. Not necessarily just because of the procedures they do, but because of the stupid, stupid things my dentist says. When I'm on laughing gas, I don't want to punch her as much. I mean, I do, but I at least think it's amusing. Today she was getting a good chuckle out of the fact that the federal government is trying to get rid of the Arizona immigration law but we are also making mortgage brokers get fingerprinted. She then began talking about how terrorists are coming into the US from the southern border because they can pass off as Mexican. In her words: "They can't come in from Canada anymore, because, well, they don't look like Canadians." I wish I was making this up, but I'm not. Then she said that Connecticut or another eastern state has the same laws already in place and no one's making a big deal of that... then she said, "But I mean, they probably don't have to enforce it like they do in Arizona... because like, they're not going to try to get rid of Canadians coming over the border into Connecticut." Who gives these people medical licenses?
But truly, laughing gas is the greatest. I kind of wish I could get my hands on some to use recreationally. While on laughing gas for like, 25-30 minutes straight today, I decided that laughing gas would be my drug of choice. Some people choose weed, some people choose coke, I choose laughing gas. While the dentist was busy annihilating my teeth, I decided that laughing gas gets me to the point where I feel like I'm drunk. But a good drunk. The kind of drunk where you go to the bathroom and all of a sudden you're like, "Holy crap. I'm drunk!" and it just comes on really quickly and in full force. Like... you're pretty drunk but not to the point of being miserable and/or sick. When I close my eyes when I'm on laughing gas, I feel the feeling like when I'm drunk and I finally get to go to bed and I just lay in my bed and think how happy I am to be laying down and not in heels and a dress anymore. THAT kind of drunk.
Well, I suppose that ends my ode to laughing gas.
The poor hygenist from last time was assigned to me again today. She was like, "Are you going to want laughing gas?" And then she realized who I was and said, "Oh yeah. You'll want laughing gas." Hahaha. Oops. Apparently I was memorable last time. What was it, I wonder? The tears? The bitchiness that came out after I had been waiting 50 minutes to get a damn filling? Who knows. Either way, I'm excited that they're so willing to give me laughing gas.
I sound super creepy, I realize, but I have been through more than one traumatizing dentist experience in these past couple of weeks. Let me have my laughing gas, at least.
But truly, laughing gas is the greatest. I kind of wish I could get my hands on some to use recreationally. While on laughing gas for like, 25-30 minutes straight today, I decided that laughing gas would be my drug of choice. Some people choose weed, some people choose coke, I choose laughing gas. While the dentist was busy annihilating my teeth, I decided that laughing gas gets me to the point where I feel like I'm drunk. But a good drunk. The kind of drunk where you go to the bathroom and all of a sudden you're like, "Holy crap. I'm drunk!" and it just comes on really quickly and in full force. Like... you're pretty drunk but not to the point of being miserable and/or sick. When I close my eyes when I'm on laughing gas, I feel the feeling like when I'm drunk and I finally get to go to bed and I just lay in my bed and think how happy I am to be laying down and not in heels and a dress anymore. THAT kind of drunk.
Well, I suppose that ends my ode to laughing gas.
The poor hygenist from last time was assigned to me again today. She was like, "Are you going to want laughing gas?" And then she realized who I was and said, "Oh yeah. You'll want laughing gas." Hahaha. Oops. Apparently I was memorable last time. What was it, I wonder? The tears? The bitchiness that came out after I had been waiting 50 minutes to get a damn filling? Who knows. Either way, I'm excited that they're so willing to give me laughing gas.
I sound super creepy, I realize, but I have been through more than one traumatizing dentist experience in these past couple of weeks. Let me have my laughing gas, at least.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Oh my slash yay?
Oh dear.
Update on the whole thing on how I'm suddenly going to be a teaching assistant at OSU for a few days in September.
So the last thing I heard about this, I would be leading sessions from 1:30-5 PM on seven separate days in September. Basically the students will be doing problems in teams for half the session, then I'll bring them all together and go over the problems for the second half. This already makes me want to cry. It seems like a lot of pressure. Plus these people are my age, if not older. Sooo... I will have absolutely no authority over these people. Yikes.
Then today I received an email just confirming that I'd be available, etc. The professor in charge ALSO just informed me that I will likely need to prepare 4-6 HOURS for EACH DAY of teaching. OMG. Whaaaat??! Seriously?!?!? This is becoming a MUCH more intense thing than I thought. Keep in mind that I was originally asked if I'd like to 'grade papers.'
...
So I mean, there's that. They DID say they'd pay me for my preparation, so... that's a perk. I'm going to be getting WAY more money than I'd previously thought. I'm thinking this 7 day gig will land me about $650 (pre-tax). So... holler. Still. I'm getting more nervous now.
Update on the whole thing on how I'm suddenly going to be a teaching assistant at OSU for a few days in September.
So the last thing I heard about this, I would be leading sessions from 1:30-5 PM on seven separate days in September. Basically the students will be doing problems in teams for half the session, then I'll bring them all together and go over the problems for the second half. This already makes me want to cry. It seems like a lot of pressure. Plus these people are my age, if not older. Sooo... I will have absolutely no authority over these people. Yikes.
Then today I received an email just confirming that I'd be available, etc. The professor in charge ALSO just informed me that I will likely need to prepare 4-6 HOURS for EACH DAY of teaching. OMG. Whaaaat??! Seriously?!?!? This is becoming a MUCH more intense thing than I thought. Keep in mind that I was originally asked if I'd like to 'grade papers.'
...
So I mean, there's that. They DID say they'd pay me for my preparation, so... that's a perk. I'm going to be getting WAY more money than I'd previously thought. I'm thinking this 7 day gig will land me about $650 (pre-tax). So... holler. Still. I'm getting more nervous now.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Even more snippets.
Another gem from the girls at the call center. This is word for word, because I wrote it down soon after it happened. I have started to be on the lookout for more dumb things they say. Too bad it's illegal to record someone without them knowing. Hearing them speak is really the only way to get the full effect. Anyway:
Girl 1: yeah so unfortunately Ryan and Amy both got me the new Usher cd for my birthday.
Girl 2: Um, I'll take one!
Girl 1: I mean you can totally have it if I can't get any money back for it.
Girl 2: Do you have a receipt?
Girl 1: No...
Girl 2: Then you probably can't get a refund...
Girl 1: Oh my God that's so retarded.
Girl 2: I know right...
This girl also got a $75 Forever 21 gift card from her boyfriend (Ryan). He ALSO took her to the Melting Pot... their bill was $90. Oh, rich kids.
Then today there were two guys sitting hear me, which was a TINY bit better than listening to girls until they pulled this:
Guy 1: Dude bro [seriously, he said both of these together], at Lake Erie this weekend I saw the hottest chick I've ever seen in my life.
Guy 2: Dude, I don't really like, know your type of girls, so I can't really know if she's hot or not if you describe her.
Guy 1: Dude, seriously, though... she's so hot. Anyone would think she was hot. So I was just sitting there and she walked onto the beach and I was straight up staring at her, and she saw me so she gave me like this little wave. It was cute as fuck. So I was like, 'Ok, she's like, an inviting person.' So I just went up to her and started chatting with her, and got the digits, so we hung out the rest of the time I was there. Like... she's seriously a perfect 10. She is so hot. She's got like a perfect body, because she runs track, so her stomach is flat and she has nice legs and a nice ass and... she's so great on top. I'm thinking like, a high C cup. And her teeth are like perfect and she has pretty eyes.
Guy 2: So like, does she have a 6 pack or something?
Guy 1: There's a little definition there.
Guy 2: I mean, really you just want a flat stomach. You don't really want it too flabby or too muscle-y though.
Guy 1: Yeah she might have like a two-pack. But dude, seriously.. so hot. I would just do the most terrible things to that girl.
Guy 2: Dude then why are you even back at work? Why aren't you still hanging out with her?
Guy 1: Dude I have to work if I'm scheduled! But listen, she totally lives in Hillard! So I'm gonna try to get with that.
Guy 2: Duuuude seriously she is like RIGHT HERE! You should not even be at work right now.
Omg. This is seriously what I listen to ALLLLL DAAAAYYY.
Girl 1: yeah so unfortunately Ryan and Amy both got me the new Usher cd for my birthday.
Girl 2: Um, I'll take one!
Girl 1: I mean you can totally have it if I can't get any money back for it.
Girl 2: Do you have a receipt?
Girl 1: No...
Girl 2: Then you probably can't get a refund...
Girl 1: Oh my God that's so retarded.
Girl 2: I know right...
This girl also got a $75 Forever 21 gift card from her boyfriend (Ryan). He ALSO took her to the Melting Pot... their bill was $90. Oh, rich kids.
Then today there were two guys sitting hear me, which was a TINY bit better than listening to girls until they pulled this:
Guy 1: Dude bro [seriously, he said both of these together], at Lake Erie this weekend I saw the hottest chick I've ever seen in my life.
Guy 2: Dude, I don't really like, know your type of girls, so I can't really know if she's hot or not if you describe her.
Guy 1: Dude, seriously, though... she's so hot. Anyone would think she was hot. So I was just sitting there and she walked onto the beach and I was straight up staring at her, and she saw me so she gave me like this little wave. It was cute as fuck. So I was like, 'Ok, she's like, an inviting person.' So I just went up to her and started chatting with her, and got the digits, so we hung out the rest of the time I was there. Like... she's seriously a perfect 10. She is so hot. She's got like a perfect body, because she runs track, so her stomach is flat and she has nice legs and a nice ass and... she's so great on top. I'm thinking like, a high C cup. And her teeth are like perfect and she has pretty eyes.
Guy 2: So like, does she have a 6 pack or something?
Guy 1: There's a little definition there.
Guy 2: I mean, really you just want a flat stomach. You don't really want it too flabby or too muscle-y though.
Guy 1: Yeah she might have like a two-pack. But dude, seriously.. so hot. I would just do the most terrible things to that girl.
Guy 2: Dude then why are you even back at work? Why aren't you still hanging out with her?
Guy 1: Dude I have to work if I'm scheduled! But listen, she totally lives in Hillard! So I'm gonna try to get with that.
Guy 2: Duuuude seriously she is like RIGHT HERE! You should not even be at work right now.
Omg. This is seriously what I listen to ALLLLL DAAAAYYY.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Worst Dentist Experience of my Life
Well. I have just returned from the worst dentist trip of my entire life. Let's start at the beginning.
I was told last week at the dentist that magically, in the course of 6 months, I had 4 cavities develop, two of which were one level away from being root canals. A few problems with this. One, nothing in my dental hygiene has changed in any way, shape, or form in the past 6 months. So... that's odd. Two, I really just think it means that they missed it the last time I was in. Because I really don't think a cavity that severe develops in a matter of a couple of months. Maybe I'm wrong; I'm not exactly a dental expert, but whatever. It seemed fishy. So then they told me I needed to get them filled, and they suggested breaking it into two appointments. I was like um, false, I hate your office more than anything else in the world... I'm not coming back TWICE. Do it all in one appointment. They rolled their eyes (literally) and scheduled the appointment for today.
So I freak out all day today about getting these cavities filled. I get to the dentist's office at 2:45. They immediately ask how I'm going to pay for these. I just stare at them and say, "Um, you always just bill my parents, and they pay the balance when they're in..." And the lady just glared at me and was like, "Ummm... nooo... that's not how it works. You need to pay the balance the day you get work done." And I'm like... bitch you are crazy. I have been coming here BY MYSELF since I was 16, and I've never ONCE paid myself. So, no, you're wrong. And she was like [BIG SIGH] Well.... I guess JUST THIS ONCE we can let you go without paying..." Like... just get over yourself, please. I am not making this up. I don't have hundreds of dollars just laying around to pay you, and I never have. The hygienist was standing there to take me back, and as we were walking, she told me the policy just changed. Like.. okay. Do NOT act like I'm a freaking nut job when YOU just changed your policy!! what on earth.
So we go back, I sit in the chair. The hygienist is being super nice, and offered me a blanket because they keep the office at approximately 40 degrees (slight exaggeration but still). I wait about 5-10 minutes before someone comes in. It's the hygienist and the dentist. They ask me if I want laughing gas - clearly the answer to that question is ALWAYS going to be yes. So all they were apparently doing was numbing me. It seemed kind of dumb to give me laughing gas for a shot in my cheek... like, I get shots in my arm once a week, I get millions of shots in my back for allergy testing, I used to have shots in my cheek at my old dentist all the time. So it really is not a big deal for me. Then they tell me that they need to wait 10 minutes for the numbing stuff to set in, and they'll be back.
.... 50 minutes go by. I am getting FURIOUS. I text my mom, who tells me that numbing takes 30 minutes. That's fine, but they probably should have said 'thirty' instead of 'ten.' And there's no way I mixed up the numbers, because, well, ten sounds nothing like thirty. I finally get up and ask a hygienist how much longer it's going to take and she just says 'soon.' Okay, great. Soon. So I've been waiting for 50 minutes, and I'm already TERRIFIED about getting these fillings. So letting me sit in a chair for 50 minutes to ponder this is definitely making things better...?
By the time they come in, I'm like... near tears because I'm a mixture of utter frustration, anger, and fear. They pretty much begin drilling immediately. I have only felt worse pain twice in my life: when I had my ACL surgery, and when I had a ruptured ovarian cyst. It was just... complete agony. So I just start sobbing haha. Like... tears were FLOWING out of my eyes. They finally realize and finish up quickly. They THEN tell me that I should have TOLD them that it hurt. Right. Right. I was going to SPEAK while you had a drill against my tooth. Definitely. Then later the hygienist was like, 'You should have raised your hand!!' Right, again. I was going to hold up my right hand, risking hitting the dentist's hand, which is holding a drill inside my tooth, or hold up the left hand, risking hitting the hygienist's hand, which is holding the suck-y up-y tube against my tooth and could easily hit the drill. Right. Like... you've got to be joking. Somehow this all turned into my fault.
They asked if I wanted laughing gas. OBVIOUSLY. Like... you were going to give me laughing gas for a shot, but you weren't going to give it to me to DRILL INTO MY TEETH? Omg. So they put me on laughing gas again which was just fantastic. It's like being drunk but with no horrible side effects. So they finished up with the other cavity. But while they were working on it, they then took the time to start scolding me. "You really need to floss more." "You really need to pay more attention to between your teeth." Like... can you please stop? I'm sobbing, you are drilling my teeth in half, and you're scolding me? I think I understand that I need to floss more at this point. They then told me they highly suggested I come back later to get the other two, because I'm clearly in so much pain. At which point I agreed, because, well, I was drunk on laughing gas and just hated them so much that I just wanted to get out of there. And tears kept coming out of my eyes because, well, I'm still annoyed, and because once I start crying, it's hard for me to stop.
The dentist left, and left the hygienist to finish up doing whatever she was doing in my mouth. She then took my tears to mean I'm like, a gigantic baby, so she started treating me like I was 2 years old. Some of the various things she said:
-"You're going to smell a really stinky smell..."
-"Now I'm going to put water in your mouth.... now I'm going to suck the water up from your mouth... now I'm going to pull on your tooth a little bit... now I'm going to pull a little more..." Like... JUST DO IT. You don't need to walk me through every step!
-"You raise your hand if this hurts at all, okay?" (she literally just put the lamp in my mouth. The lamp. That dries the filling. ............ no, the light from the lamp does not hurt. Surprising, I know.
UGHHHHHHHHHHHH. So that was the dentist. Now my teeth don't feel like my teeth, and it stresses me out. The right side of my face is also still numb and does not seem to be getting any better any time soon. And I get to go through this all AGAIN next week for the other two cavities! HOORAY!
I was told last week at the dentist that magically, in the course of 6 months, I had 4 cavities develop, two of which were one level away from being root canals. A few problems with this. One, nothing in my dental hygiene has changed in any way, shape, or form in the past 6 months. So... that's odd. Two, I really just think it means that they missed it the last time I was in. Because I really don't think a cavity that severe develops in a matter of a couple of months. Maybe I'm wrong; I'm not exactly a dental expert, but whatever. It seemed fishy. So then they told me I needed to get them filled, and they suggested breaking it into two appointments. I was like um, false, I hate your office more than anything else in the world... I'm not coming back TWICE. Do it all in one appointment. They rolled their eyes (literally) and scheduled the appointment for today.
So I freak out all day today about getting these cavities filled. I get to the dentist's office at 2:45. They immediately ask how I'm going to pay for these. I just stare at them and say, "Um, you always just bill my parents, and they pay the balance when they're in..." And the lady just glared at me and was like, "Ummm... nooo... that's not how it works. You need to pay the balance the day you get work done." And I'm like... bitch you are crazy. I have been coming here BY MYSELF since I was 16, and I've never ONCE paid myself. So, no, you're wrong. And she was like [BIG SIGH] Well.... I guess JUST THIS ONCE we can let you go without paying..." Like... just get over yourself, please. I am not making this up. I don't have hundreds of dollars just laying around to pay you, and I never have. The hygienist was standing there to take me back, and as we were walking, she told me the policy just changed. Like.. okay. Do NOT act like I'm a freaking nut job when YOU just changed your policy!! what on earth.
So we go back, I sit in the chair. The hygienist is being super nice, and offered me a blanket because they keep the office at approximately 40 degrees (slight exaggeration but still). I wait about 5-10 minutes before someone comes in. It's the hygienist and the dentist. They ask me if I want laughing gas - clearly the answer to that question is ALWAYS going to be yes. So all they were apparently doing was numbing me. It seemed kind of dumb to give me laughing gas for a shot in my cheek... like, I get shots in my arm once a week, I get millions of shots in my back for allergy testing, I used to have shots in my cheek at my old dentist all the time. So it really is not a big deal for me. Then they tell me that they need to wait 10 minutes for the numbing stuff to set in, and they'll be back.
.... 50 minutes go by. I am getting FURIOUS. I text my mom, who tells me that numbing takes 30 minutes. That's fine, but they probably should have said 'thirty' instead of 'ten.' And there's no way I mixed up the numbers, because, well, ten sounds nothing like thirty. I finally get up and ask a hygienist how much longer it's going to take and she just says 'soon.' Okay, great. Soon. So I've been waiting for 50 minutes, and I'm already TERRIFIED about getting these fillings. So letting me sit in a chair for 50 minutes to ponder this is definitely making things better...?
By the time they come in, I'm like... near tears because I'm a mixture of utter frustration, anger, and fear. They pretty much begin drilling immediately. I have only felt worse pain twice in my life: when I had my ACL surgery, and when I had a ruptured ovarian cyst. It was just... complete agony. So I just start sobbing haha. Like... tears were FLOWING out of my eyes. They finally realize and finish up quickly. They THEN tell me that I should have TOLD them that it hurt. Right. Right. I was going to SPEAK while you had a drill against my tooth. Definitely. Then later the hygienist was like, 'You should have raised your hand!!' Right, again. I was going to hold up my right hand, risking hitting the dentist's hand, which is holding a drill inside my tooth, or hold up the left hand, risking hitting the hygienist's hand, which is holding the suck-y up-y tube against my tooth and could easily hit the drill. Right. Like... you've got to be joking. Somehow this all turned into my fault.
They asked if I wanted laughing gas. OBVIOUSLY. Like... you were going to give me laughing gas for a shot, but you weren't going to give it to me to DRILL INTO MY TEETH? Omg. So they put me on laughing gas again which was just fantastic. It's like being drunk but with no horrible side effects. So they finished up with the other cavity. But while they were working on it, they then took the time to start scolding me. "You really need to floss more." "You really need to pay more attention to between your teeth." Like... can you please stop? I'm sobbing, you are drilling my teeth in half, and you're scolding me? I think I understand that I need to floss more at this point. They then told me they highly suggested I come back later to get the other two, because I'm clearly in so much pain. At which point I agreed, because, well, I was drunk on laughing gas and just hated them so much that I just wanted to get out of there. And tears kept coming out of my eyes because, well, I'm still annoyed, and because once I start crying, it's hard for me to stop.
The dentist left, and left the hygienist to finish up doing whatever she was doing in my mouth. She then took my tears to mean I'm like, a gigantic baby, so she started treating me like I was 2 years old. Some of the various things she said:
-"You're going to smell a really stinky smell..."
-"Now I'm going to put water in your mouth.... now I'm going to suck the water up from your mouth... now I'm going to pull on your tooth a little bit... now I'm going to pull a little more..." Like... JUST DO IT. You don't need to walk me through every step!
-"You raise your hand if this hurts at all, okay?" (she literally just put the lamp in my mouth. The lamp. That dries the filling. ............ no, the light from the lamp does not hurt. Surprising, I know.
UGHHHHHHHHHHHH. So that was the dentist. Now my teeth don't feel like my teeth, and it stresses me out. The right side of my face is also still numb and does not seem to be getting any better any time soon. And I get to go through this all AGAIN next week for the other two cavities! HOORAY!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)