I know that I am an incredibly lucky human being. I mean, for starters, I have more than enough food, water, shelter, and clothing. I don't worry about where my next meal is coming from. I have a job. I have a degree that my parents paid for. I have more THINGS than anyone should ever have, really. My room is FULL of just... stuff. I feel guilty, sometimes, for having so much. Does anyone need as much perfume as I have? No. Absolutely not. Does anyone need 30 bras? Nope. Sure don't. Does anyone need hundreds of books? Nope. Does anyone need 20 sweatshirts? Probably not. So I feel guilty for having all of these material things. But then I'm lucky on a whole other level. I have a family that loves me unconditionally, and that would do just about anything to make me happy. I have a boyfriend who doesn't beat me or belittle me or make me feel worthless... and on top of that, he's just a pretty amazing human being. I'm honored to know him and to have him like me back. And what pretty much prompted this post... I just have unbelievable friends. I believe that I am TRULY so incredibly blessed in this life of mine to have two groups of just... unbelievable friends. The fact that I have two decently large groups of people to run to when I'm sad, or to run to when I'm ready for a good time haha, is just... wonderful. This evening I hung out with my friends from home. We didn't do anything mind-blowing... we literally just sat around and talked for a good 4-5 hours. There is something so reassuring about friends from home. They understand you and where you come from. They just get things about you that people from school couldn't possibly comprehend (although not possibly for a lack of trying). Some people at work were kind of dissing people that still hang out with their friends from high school, saying that you must be pretty lame if you're still hanging out with your high school friends because that means you haven't made better friends at college, blah blah. I was just shocked. I'm sorry you had shitty friends in high school? I mean, seriously. I LOVE my high school friends and I am so glad that we're still hanging out and enjoying each other's company. They are just... home. I am so comfortable with them and I love love love knowing that they'll always be there for a laugh or a cry or a Wendy's run or a night of just watching tv and gossiping.

And then I have my Miami friends, who just continue to put smiles on my face even though we're not at school together anymore. Tonight was the first night I've gone out where I realized that I should have been going out at Miami instead, if I hadn't graduated. And it just brought back a whole flood of memories. And then I came home and had an email from Erin waiting... we've had an email chain going where we just all email each other updates on our lives and what we've been going through, and it honestly gets me through the day sometimes. Anyway, the email from Erin was just so... wonderful. I mean, it wasn't all happy... in fact, a lot of it wasn't, but I found myself just thinking that I am SO proud to get to call her (and everyone else) on the email my friend. I truly have been introduced to some incredible people in my life and I can't believe I've actually been able to be friends with them. If you're reading this, chances are you're one of the people I'm incredibly thankful to know :)

It's just hard to think that I won't ever get to stumble home with Jamie, throw some popcorn in the microwave, and eat the whole bag while snuggling in her bed, laughing about the nights' events and whatever's on tv. I won't see her pour herself a DC or put salt on just about everything, including pizza. It's hard to think that I won't be living with Kiley anymore after 4 straight years of doing so... not only that, but I won't get to see her antics. I won't get to see her folding herself over the top of the couch anymore, or slapping her thighs together, and I won't be cheered up by her constant optimism. Tim won't be around anymore to talk to about tennis, or to play tennis with. I won't get to use his spotless bathroom anymore (because clearly, who would choose to use Zach's disgusting bathroom?) and I won't get to listen to his pure sass on a daily basis. I won't get to see his standard pose... shoulders raised up a bit, hands shoved in his front pockets. And I won't have Zach to joke around with and complain to about whoever is annoying us at the moment... I won't be able to have fat nights with anyone now that he's not around. Late-night McDonalds won't ever be the same. Luckily Erin and Alyssa will still be around so I don't have to bother with being super sad about them :) I love them a lot and I cannot wait to spend the next year hanging out with them and continuing to build our friendship that blossomed out of Oreos and peanut butter.

I just... am in a reflective mood tonight, I guess, and although this is really long, all that you really need to have gotten out of this (if you're still reading) is that, since you ARE reading, you are probably someone I consider to be a wonderful friend and I am extremely, extremely thankful for your friendship. I love you!

Taco Huts

I would like to publicly express my gratitude to whoever came up with the idea of the TacoHut. I mean, yes, I am assuming it was someone with Yum! Brands... but for real, whatever individual decided this would be a good idea was absolutely correct and should be thanked. Where else can you get a steak quesadilla and Pizza Hut breadsticks (two of my all-time favorite foods) in one stop? Sigh.

I think I'm going to campus tonight to meet up with Alyssa and her PT classmates. Should be fun! I'm gonna have to leave relatively early though, due to my 10 AM start time at work tomorrow. Boo. Work has a tendency to ruin the fun things in life.

Facebook

I'm officially disturbed by the large number of relatives on Facebook. This is a very recent discovery, and it has left me feeling kind of uncomfortable. It all started a few days ago when I came home from work and found an email in my inbox stating, "Lisa Peters has added you as a friend on Facebook." I literally YELLED downstairs, "MOOOOOOMMMMM. YOU'RE ON FACEBOOK?!?!?!?" to which she meekly replied "Yes..."

Then, through viewing her friends, I discovered that my 12 year old sister and 13 year old brother ALSO have Facebook. Why? Honestly. Why would you possibly need to be on Facebook? You don't need to keep in touch with anyone because you are STILL IN MIDDLE SCHOOL! Gahhhh!

Then today I paid another visit to my mom's profile where I discovered like, a million more relatives. I was obviously already friends with all of my cousins that are near my age. Turns out, however, that numerous aunts and uncles are ALSO on Facebook.

I'm just waiting for the day when my computer-illiterate Grandma gets Facebook. I'll probably die.

In other (sad) news, everyone is leaving. Jamie left already, Donny left today, and Kiley leaves Saturday. I tried my hardest not to cry when Donny left because, let's be honest, this is literally the fifth year we've done the long distance thing. However, my poor attempts proved unsuccessful. I'm such a girl.

Kiley and I had a dinner date at Due Amici tonight. They have a happy hour where, for $10, you can get a (huge) (and delicious) pizza and either a well drink, a beer, or a house wine. Not a bad deal. Here's the best part: we didn't get carded. Probably the first time in my life I can make that claim. Needless to say, I was very proud of us.

The next few weeks of my life are going to be full of trying to get in as many hours at work as I can until my last day on August 27th... it can't come soon enough. I'm planning on going to Pittsburgh on August 28 to visit Donny on his birthday weekend... then I'll just be hanging out and packing and getting ready to move into my new apartment! I am SO excited about that... I'm nervous but really looking forward to living on my own. I feel grown up :)

For the present, however... I'm just looking forward to going to bed sort of early tonight, and sleeping in tomorrow. No work tomorrow :) Huzzah!

Kelly. Clarkson.

I am going to try my hardest to restrain myself in this post. But let me just get this out now... KELLY CLARKSON IS SO FREAKING AMAZING.

Okay. Now. The concert was tonight (in case you hadn't guessed). I went with Jamie, which was a blast, because we both knew the songs and were able to scream to them and whatnot. Eric Hutchinson opened... I hadn't really heard of him, although I apparently had heard of a couple of his songs. He's really, really good though. He seemed like a fun guy, too. Jamie and I decided he's a perfect blend of Jack Johnson, Ben Folds, and Jason Mraz. He plays the piano and the guitar, so that was cool. We decided Kiley should date him. Meh.

And... Kelly is just a FANTASTIC singer. I don't know how you could possibly argue that she's not. I mean, you can not like her music but... she has a truly wonderful voice. It makes it so much more enjoyable when you know that it's just... easy for her. She doesn't have to force it. And it ALSO is great when she's live and she sounds exactly like she does on her CD. It makes her so much more legit. You know she's not getting her voice retouched or anything, which is good.

Some highlights:
+ well, every song basically.
+ specifically, since u been gone
+ because of you
+ behind these hazel eyes
+ i have to stop listing songs because I'll just list all of them.
+ an AMAZING cover of patsy cline's "walkin' after midnight" ... I've loved this song ever since I heard the Garth Brooks cover... Kelly made it really blues-y and jazzy and it was so good.
+ just all the moments she was talking... she's hilarious. And so down-to-earth. You can tell she really loves her fans, and she was so humbled that we all knew the words to EVERY song.
+ the ADORABLE girl sitting beside me. She couldn't have been more than 8. As soon as I sat down, she turns to me and goes, "DO YOU LOVE KELLY CLARKSON?" hahaha like, how cute. I was like "um, YES?!" haha. Then she goes "Is this your first Kelly concert?" omg. adorable. The best part was that she had NO clue what I was talking about when I said I saw her in the American Idol tour. Silly me. That girl was like, 3 months old when that happened or something. Made me feel OOOLLLLDDDD.

Some sad things:
- she did not play "sober," "just missed the train," or "beautiful disaster"
- she DID play whyyouwannabringmedown. What a dumb song. Sorry, Kel.
- the random annoying men in front of us that were screaming "fuck head" and other such unnecessary words at each other. Um, hi, there's an 8 year old girl behind you? Thanks?

ANYWAY. Omg. Amazing. Amazing. I will be so happy for so long now haha. I told Jamie that it's become my life goal to meet her. I don't care if I'm 80 when it happens... as long as it does. Haha I've decided if the possibility exists for me to have her play at my wedding, I will forego the food... everyone gets Wendy's dollar menu stuff for the reception... because she WILL play at my wedding. Just... a heads up in case you want to reject my wedding invitation haha.

I have to go examine my videos and pictures. Yayayayay.

Time

I somehow just realized today that when Donny gets back from vacation (he left yesterday), we will have one week together before he moves to Pittsburgh. How depressing. I'm always such a mess leading up to us being separated again. I know we've done it before, so I'm not worried, it's just... hard.

I got my financial aid award from Ohio State, so that makes me feel a lot better. I officially accepted loans last night, which is scary. I'm not ready to be making loan payments for the next 10 years of my life... eek.

I'm re-reading the entire Harry Potter series again. I'm on book 4 now. It's SO GOOD. I just really admire J.K. Rowling's ability to visualize this entire fantasy world. It really is its own WORLD. And that's why I love the books so much more than the movies... she's great at details, and that doesn't come through in the movies. Like, just things like Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans... that's just so clever. And she created an entire series out of this. Sigh. She deserves all of her millions and millions of dollars.

Kind of a disjointed entry... meh.

My biological clock...?

I feel like this is slightly creepy... and feel free not to tell Donny... but I think my motherly instincts or whatever you'd like to call them are legit kicking in. Like, I am just always wanting to hold a baby or an animal or something. Is that normal? I can't decide. If so... like, hey there, biological clock. Give me a few years, thanks.

Donny and I were watching Animal Cops on Animal Planet for 3 straight hours today. And then he left to go home, and I am stilllll watching it as I type. I can't stop crying about how horribly people treat their animals. How do you just like... have an animal, and then not give a crap about it anymore? Seriously, I can't understand it. Or people that raise roosters for cockfighting? Um, what? What sort of entertainment is that? Ugh. It's disgusting. And people that just leave their animals to fend for themselves... djlskdjf;sdf. It makes me so mad. And back to the motherly instinct, I like, CRAVE holding these animals. A few years ago I would have been sad, but I wouldn't really have felt like... a longing for them... I'm creeping myself out.

Damn it. They're starting to show Animal Cops episodes that were on earlier tonight. Guess I'll have to find a new show to watch for the rest of the night.

I hate the economy

I got a call today from the E&Y recruiter out of Columbus letting me know that my starting salary has decreased by $2,000. I don't even start working for over a year. The economy can suck it.

I AM thankful I have a job lined up, don't get me wrong. I am reminded of that every single day when I'm at the call center and I know that I have SUCH better things ahead of me. It's just so frustrating to have not even started with them and to get a call saying my salary is decreasing. I haven't even met the woman who called me to tell me. You could tell she felt bad about it, though... she kept saying, "I'm so sorry to be the one to tell you this; I've never even met you..." I mean, it sucks for her, too, to have to call everyone and tell them.

I knew it was coming, though. Micah had his salary decreased AND his start date moved up (with another firm), so I knew it was a possibility. I've heard of other firms completely taking back their offers. So I'm glad I'm not in that position. I'm just thinking long-term... those $2,000 could really help pay off student loans. I'm the type of person who pays off my credit card balance like, every week because I'm so scared of having any sort of debt and I refuse to ever pay interest on a credit card. So the thought of being $25,000+ in debt in less than a year is pretty terrifying to me. This news from E&Y doesn't help.